Has the world really become a better place, or is it only an exaggerated point of view of the optimist. I do believe that the new information revolution has caused a radical change in the way we think and act. I saw a clear transformation in my own ways of thinking since the advancement of the information age, and I know I’m not the only one. With such proximity to the world around you, it is almost impossible not to develop new bonds and friendships. One’s will has to and must be influenced. Humans are social beings, it is by way of influencing and being influenced that we advance ourselves as a species. Trying not to be influenced in a world that is developing and enhancing together is a near impossibility. However, in living a life of awareness one can choose one’s influences at least for the most part and be more constructive than destructive.

When I traveled out of my homeland for the first time it was on a three month visit to the Americas. The trip was centered on the US for doing a series of short lectures and weekend seminars. I eventually ended up traveling for almost two years starting in May ‘96 thru June ‘98. I met a diverse group of people on these trips and returned home with a wealth of new experiences. A community development project under the guidance of the founder of One World Academy kept me from furthering my travels. The project was popularly known amongst our friends as the 100 villages project. The idea of the project was to help create a happy individual. My teacher believed that happiness is the true index for development. I spent most of my next six years with the people of these villages: eating, playing cricket, watching movies, and meditating with them. Living amidst the rural people of India for this long a period caused considerable perceptual and emotional shifts in me.

After the project completed, I resumed my travels by giving spiritual talks and seminars across the World. I met people from all over with varying background and experiences, and I also reconnected with some of the people I had met with six years ago. The experience of meeting with them after a long time felt different. There was something strikingly different about them. They had changed but it was not the normal gradual change that happens to all of us with passage of time. It was a more radical one. I had to be sure that I was not just imagining all this, and so I had to question myself in order to bring more objectivity to my perceptions. What was so new about these men and women that I didn’t observe earlier?

A clear transformation was evident. The transformation not just among the few I had known, but also the world around me felt a lot different. I had to inquire in to the nature of this transformation. Is it possible that the world had shifted so much in such a short period of time?  Or was it my own growth in the last six years that influenced my perception of the world? The shift I experience was a result of transformation at both the macro and micro levels. What is so characteristic about this shift? I can try explaining this shift only in respect to the observation I had made in the lives of those few men and women I had met with some six years earlier.

Most of these men and women I refer to are like you and I who are concerned about the well being of their family and friends. Six years later it was as if their self had expanded to include more. Living merely for the well being of their immediate environment didn’t seem satisfying enough. They longed to do more, wanted to serve a cause much larger than themselves. A passion to contribute had arisen, contribution that was not bound by the limitations of religion, race, creed or nationality. Issues not pertaining to their personal lives had now become their own issues. Troubles concerning the different peoples of the world were now their own problems, they worried about them and prayed and hoped for their solution. This is awakening of a new kind. The new world citizen was born. This was the new transformation I was observing where people had become less national and more global. People who earlier did not care much about what happened in the rest of the globe were now disturbed by the poverty in Africa, conflicts in the Middle East, suppression in the communist China, ecological imbalances, endangered species and so on. Now they cared to do something about it.

A couple of decades ago, we had very few men and women on our planet who would think and act like true world leaders. One could not say that there were no good leaders in the past, but they mostly concerned themselves with the well being of particular nation, religion, cause or a particular community. While this act is quite noble in itself, it still lacks the broadness required to manifest the world of our dreams, “A ONE HAPPY WORLD”. We need leaders whose thinking is not merely restricted to the progress and prosperity of a particular nation but whose actions include the wellbeing of our planet at large. Do we have such leaders today? And yes today we have plenty of them: namely, ten year olds, housewives, professionals, entrepreneurs, politicians, spiritual teachers, students, environmentalists, North Americans, South Americans, Asians, Africans, Australians, Europeans, indigenous populations, all of whom can think and act like leaders. This new era is for the global person and does not belong to the separatist. We have more global citizens on our planet today compared to any other period of human history.

Who could have masterminded such a profound transformation? And if you say that it has to be the work of god then the Internet is that new miracle of god. The Internet must be our universe’s way of furthering itself. It really does not matter what reason and meaning we attribute to this shift. This shift is radical and I believe is for a greater good. One really doesn’t need to speculate over the impact the Internet has had on our lives, barring the few negatives that are a part of any invention, it has transformed the way we think and respond. Even a ten year old from the comfort of his own study with just a click on his/her iPad or iPod can instantly experience the pain, pleasure, thrill, fear, and conflict of people across the planet. Almost instantaneously you can connect with anybody and anywhere. You connect with their emotions, their views, their knowledge, their desires and their passions. This experience is not limited by time and space
either. To put it in a nutshell, you become the other person. With one small click on your PC or Mac you could become the world you lived in. Truly magical, isn’t it?  Having witnessed the magic of Internet in the lives of so many, mine included, how could I not believe that this is an act of divinity.  As this and many other conscious technologies
flourish we may see the end of the idea of a separate individual and the dawn of a new age of oneness.

How comfortable are we with these changing social structures influenced by this exponentially growing information technology? It certainly has transformed the way we relate to ourselves and to this world. Relationships have acquired a new meaning and dimension. Our previously held concepts about life, god, purpose, family and death are
being challenged. Many wonder if this progress is a good thing or a mistake gone out of control. We hear some of us complaining about alienation in human relationships. Is this actually true or is it that the idea of a family and relationship is being redefined. Is it really a wise thing to fight these emerging new social structures or should we let go of the attachment to our previously held ideologies and embrace the new? Perhaps, there is a greater love and freedom in the new. How would we know the truth of the new unless we are willing to more objectively look into our old habits and the fear of having to let go of something that provided us much comfort in the past. Why is this change so threatening?

Traditionally speaking, our idea of a family is a father, a mother, children, grand parents, some friends, and a few next door neighbors. You are probably a group of twenty people who belonged to each other. As parents we felt that our children were always in our sight and that they entirely belonged to us. We were very sure about
their love for us. As parents we liked believing that they loved us more than anyone or anything in this World. How have these relationships changed with the onset of this new Information Age?.

With the advancement in information technology, the group is no longer limited to just ten or twenty people. Our children now have friends in far corners of the earth transcending every form of division, whether it be religious, cultural, national and/or racial. Their boundaries have been pushed far beyond, from one’s immediate neighborhoods to far corners of this planet. It is possible that we may be feeling that we have lost our children especially when we find them Facebook chatting with a friend that they have never even met previously. As parents it is sometimes scary to think that our children may share the same love and care for someone on a distant continent like they did for us. We may have to face the uncomfortable truth that we no longer own them and that their love does not entirely belong to us either. We might end up feeling that we have lost our children and even develop some kind of animosity towards this new technology that we believe is responsible for alienating our children from us. In some cases what we believed may be true and in most other cases probably not.

Should we not be appreciative of this new generation of children who believe they belonged to this world more than they belonged to any one particular person or family?
Should we not support their new ways of thinking? Should we not encourage their new modes of acting that is more inclusive than exclusive? Should we not embrace this new breed of world citizens who think and act like true world leaders? As parents shouldn’t we be proud for having nurtured such remarkable people? For us to understand their new ways of thinking and acting, it is essential that we let go of our attachment to our old ways and be open to the new.

This is a brand new world with brand new perceptions. Whether we seek to find comfort by holding on to our old views or find a new freedom by embracing the new is a choice we all have. You have to make your choice and there is no right or wrong choice.

Obviously what I discuss here with you is only a point of view that need not be agreed upon. If there is one thing that I have learned in a decade and a half of international travels is that all there will ever be is only a point of view and that there is no truth as such. Meeting a diverse group of people, experiencing many contrasting cultures, how could one even say that one way is right and the other wrong, one view as right and the other wrong. All that exists, is only a point of view and knowing this is freedom in itself.

I am certain most of us would concur with the view that ‘suffering’ has been one of humanities biggest challenges. By ‘suffering’ we are referring to the psychological pain we experience in its varied forms; as fear, hurt, disappointment, anxiety, shame, regret, etc. It is this psychological discomfort, we fear more than anything else. Of course no one likes physical pain either and we do our best to prevent it from happening, but it is the disturbed state of mind that scares us the most.

How do we habitually respond to this challenge called suffering?

Not knowing how to deal with suffering we are constantly finding newer and newer ways of distracting ourselves from this pain. We have even invented ideas like ‘suffering is good for us’, ‘life is not a bed of roses’, ‘it is meant to be’, ‘It is a divine plan’, ‘God wants us to suffer’, ‘suffering is God’s way of showing how much He loves us’. How do we even know that suffering is good for us or that it is a divine plan and yet we take refuge in these baseless beliefs.

We are prepared to engage ourselves in any activity, physical or mental, that can provide us a distraction from our psychological discomfort. We are ever so ready to embrace any view no matter how irrational or baseless it is, if it promises to provide us some solace. Some of us have even made ‘suffering’ a sacred thing, believing suffering to be the only path to salvation or enlightenment. Although deep in our hearts we know these ideas to be utterly baseless, we are still scared of questioning them because we are afraid that we might loose the little comfort they keep providing us. We refuse to enquire because we are terrified of facing this monster called ‘suffering’. If we realized the falseness of these beliefs, it would then become impossible for us to take refuge in them any longer and we may not want that to happen.

I am sure we are aware that all the comfort found through the various forms of distraction, whether physical or mental is only momentary and that this pain would resurface again. Every time this psychological pain resurfaces, we have to again put ourselves through the same mental exercise of having to find newer ways to distract ourselves or keep inventing new ideas that will buy us some more comfort. In some cases we have made suffering such a noble thing, we glorify it and do nothing about it. This whole exercise of pain management can become so tiring and eventually reduce our entire life to a mere act of ‘suffer management’.

It is agreed that suffering is a very unpleasant state to be in and that no sane human being would desire to be in that state, however should we spend the entirety of our life on planning how to avoid, ignore or run away from this suffering? We certainly can learn how to dissolve this pain when it arises. Management is not the only way to deal with suffering, one can also learn how to move from this conflicted state of mind to a place of calm and joy. This transformation becomes possible when one brings total attention to this entire movement of suffering as it is happening.

Every year the teachers at One World Academy undertake service projects, which involve visiting areas that have been affected by natural disasters to offer their support. One such trip we made in recent times was to the Gulf States in the USA. It was during the summer of 2010 when the oil spill nearly wiped out both the fishing and tourism industries that were the prime economic engines here in this part of the world. We planned a ten-day road trip covering nearly 2500 kilometers starting at New Orleans in Louisiana to Tampa Bay in Florida. We drove through countless small towns meeting many people along the way. We did not want to meet with people in organized groups, instead preferring to meet with individuals and families in their own homes, which is where they felt most comfortable to share their story of pain. And so we kept it more spontaneous, knocking on the doors of various homes and working with those individuals and families that let us in. Nearly everyone that we approached was kind enough to welcome a bunch of strangers like ourselves in to their homes.

But why were we doing this road trip? What was the intention with which we visited these places? What were we hoping to achieve?

Every time we are confronted with challenging conditions in life, we experience a lot of fear and uncertainty during these periods and we begin to believe that until our conditions have changed, we are not going to be able to regain that happiness we once experienced. But what if those conditions never changed or if it took ten long years for those conditions to transform, does it then mean that for the next ten years or for the rest of our life we will have to live in misery. If this were really true, it means we have no freedom whatsoever to choose our inner experiences. If this is the case then there certainly is a serious flaw in this universe and this can’t be true. Our inner state of being cannot be determined by some work of fate.

It may be true that we cannot prevent suffering from happening but we can most certainly learn how to dissolve this pain when it arises. It is with this vision that we set out on our ten-day road trip, to challenge the view that suffering is a result of our life conditions. We at One World Academy believe otherwise, that suffering is a result of the meanings we attach to our life situations and not a result of the situations themselves. Our intention for this trip was to help at least a few people make this shift and train them to be able to help others in their community.

We were not visiting these beautiful people to just give them some hope that everything would be okay soon, instead we would actually teach them the art of moving from a place of suffering to a place of inner calm. Hope is comforting but it is only a first aid and not a total cure. One cannot live in hope for ever, then the very purpose of hope is defeated; hope towards what end, for a freedom that is never going to happen or a reward that will be experienced only in the after life. Our intention was not ‘hope’ but a ‘freedom’ that could be experienced in this very moment. If we learnt how to free ourselves from suffering, then we would never be afraid of suffering or wait for our conditions to change to find happiness again.

It is with this deep passion that we went around knocking on people’s doors. When some one opened the door for us, we introduced ourselves as teachers from One World Academy and also mentioned to them that we were here to teach them how to be happy. There were all kinds of reactions to our sudden appearance at their doorsteps, from extreme skepticism to overwhelming gratefulness, the most common reaction being “did you really travel ten thousand miles to teach us how to be happy?”

One such door that we knocked on was opened by an African American gentleman by the name of Joseph who welcomed us into his home. Joseph was in his mid fifties when we first met with him and he lived in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. He walked us to his living room, offered us a glass of water and promptly put four paintbrushes in our hands asking us if we were ready for the job. Obviously he didn’t know the reason for our visit, nor did we get a chance to introduce ourselves. It is not until a few minutes after we entered his home did we realize that Joseph’s vision was impaired.

Joseph had served the US military during the Vietnam War and subsequently lost his eyesight. We were quite impressed with the way he carried himself around giving very little clues that he was blind. A group of teenagers had volunteered to do the paint job for his home and he was expecting them to show up. Instead, we appeared at his doorstep and he mistook us for those teenagers. When he finally realized that were not those teens that he was expecting, he felt a little embarrassed but anyways handed to us a bucket full of paint asking if we would be willing to assist him with the painting job.

We were of course very happy to help him with any kind of assistance he needed to improve the appearance of his home. He walked us though the tiny kitchen that led to his backyard. We started painting the walls on the rear side of his home facing the back yard. The lawn in the yard was well kept except for a few dry patches, which again was quite impressive. Joseph at last looked settled and it felt appropriate that we introduce ourselves now. Joseph’s reaction to our introduction was the same popular one “did you really travel ten thousand miles to teach me how to be happy?”

Although he believed in our intention, he appeared very skeptical about its possibility. And thus began our three hour long conversation of which he spoke for most of the first two hours trying to convince us about the impossibility of finding that peace or happiness given his life conditions. Often during his speech, he would mention, “you will never know what it is to be blind and the suffering a blind person has to go through”. While we empathized with his condition, we expressed our disagreement to his remark that it would be impossible for him to find that peace.

Finally after nearly two hours of his speech, we interrupted him saying may be it is now our chance to say something. He at once became quiet allowing us to say what we had to say. I put my hand on his heart and said to him may be it is better if he listened to us from this place instead of his mind that has already presupposed the impossibility of finding happiness.

If we began our search for happiness by assuming its impossibility, then every step we take would only strengthen the belief in its impossibility. Instead it might be more rewarding if we began our search for happiness with the assumption we are likely to find it. Although it is still an assumption, it certainly is a better assumption, which gives us a better shot at happiness.

If Joseph had to make a shift in his state, only he could make that happen. No one can magically transform another’s life. He had to enquire in to his suffering and arrive at the right insight himself, which would then set him free. I cannot and was not willing to answer questions for him; he had to find answers himself. At best I could help him ask the right questions. So we started to go on a journey of enquiry; enquiring to find out if suffering is situation dependent or not.

We live in a world with well over seven billion people and we know that not all the seven billion are subject to similar life situations. Our life conditions vary from being widely different to even contrasting and so is the case with our inner state of being. Some of us are happy, peaceful and forgiving while others are deeply unhappy, complaining and hateful.

What makes one a happy person and the other an unhappy one? This was the question we stayed with while we enquired.

We asked Joseph if he could imagine the world we lived in for which he responded saying that he was already doing it and that he saw all kinds of people in there; rich people, poor people, healthy people, sick people and people with physically challenged conditions. And so we started to reflect on the different life conditions a person can be subjected to and some of the possible inner reactions a person could experience in response to their respective life situations. We narrowed our search to some of the more obvious life conditions and to be more specific, six different conditions.

First condition and the possible reaction

There are several million among the seven billion that are abundantly rich, have all they need and yet are unhappy within. We waited for Joseph’s response and he concurred with us on this one.

Second condition and the possible reaction

Again there are several million among us who are very well to do, have all they need and who are also happy within. Being rich does not automatically make one’s life miserable; this is a highly questionable religious myth, which needs to be enquired in to. Joseph saw the truth of this possibility as well and so we moved on.

Third condition and the possible reaction

There are several hundred million among us that are relatively poor and are deeply unhappy with in. Joseph agreed with us on this one too.

Fourth condition and the possible reaction

There are several hundred million living in utterly poor conditions with very little or even nothing and yet are happy within. After a few quiet moments Joseph responded saying that some of his friends were really poor but happy at the same time.

Fifth condition and the possible reaction

There are hundreds of millions living with physically challenged conditions or diagnosed with chronic illnesses that have no cure, who live blaming someone or something all the time and live in a very disturbed state of mind. Joseph identified himself with these people and even remarked; “of course it is true. How can we not suffer if life is so harsh to us?”

Sixth condition and the possible reaction

There are again several hundreds of millions among us that are blind, mute, and sick with incurable ailments and still find themselves to be in a peaceful and happy state. It took a while for Joseph to respond to this one but in the end responded saying “yeah, it is true but how is that possible?”

We now approached the end of our reflective meditation as our friend Joseph enthusiastically asked us; “So what do we do now?”

Now was the moment to ask the actual big question, Similar or identical life circumstances but very dissimilar or even contrasting inner states of being; two well to do people and one is happy and the other unhappy, two sick people and one is happy and the other unhappy, two poor people and one is happy and the other unhappy. How can a similar life situation cause two entirely different states of being?

Could it then mean that it is not the situation that is responsible for what one experiences within? If it is not one’s life condition that determines one’s inner state of being, then what is it that defines one’s inner state of being? The question to ask would be: “Is the happiness or unhappiness I experience within, dependent on my life situations themselves or is it a result of the meanings I attach to those situations?

“IS SUFFERING SITUATION DEPENDENT?

And so the big question was asked to Joseph:

WHAT SEPARATES HAPPINESS FROM UNHAPPINESS?

After several minutes of quiet reflection, Joseph beams a big smile and he speaks. He speaks great wisdom, certainly one of the wisest words I have heard in my many years of travel. He says: “WHAT SEPARATES HAPPINESS FROM UNHAPPINESS IS A THOUGHT.”

How absolutely true is that! Is happiness not a result of the reaction experienced in one’s mind to a particular event? Is unhappiness not the result of a reaction experienced in one’s mind to a particular life situation? To every situation that happens to us, there is a very definitive reaction in our minds. This reaction experienced in thought is either happiness or unhappiness.

One of our dear friends who travelled with us on this trip and who in fact was instrumental in making this trip happen walked up to Joseph with an iPhone saying to him “there are so many blind people like yourself living in this world believing that they could never be happy. Is there something that you would like to share with them?” Joseph again with a big smile spoke to the camera saying “I am happy and I have learnt how to be happy” and when asked if there is anything else he would be interested in sharing, he said; “I want to be a teacher like the one’s here from One World Academy. I would like to be able to help people in my community to find inner peace and happiness”.

This is the story of the lovely African American gentleman from Baton Rouge who shifted from a state of suffering to a place of service. You can find some of Joseph’s videos on healingthegulf.org or on YouTube. During the following summer, we had plans of visiting Joseph and the many others we met on that trip and train them to be able to help others but our plans had to change because we needed to pay a visit to Tuscaloosa, a small town in Alabama that was hit by a massive tornado in the summer of 2011.

It may be true that all of us do not have that same equal opportunity to be equally rich or to live an equally comfortable life for that might be dependent on many factors outside of our control but every one of us most certainly share an equal opportunity to find happiness as this inner state of being is not determined by any of our external circumstances. So, yes it is absolutely possible for every single one of us irrespective of our gender, age, religion, class, culture or creed to live a life free of suffering. Suffering is a choice and will always remain so. In bringing total attention to ones suffering, it becomes evident that suffering is only a choice and that one can choose to step out of it.

Is the happiness or unhappiness we experience dependent on our life circumstances or is it a result of the meanings we attach to them? Is the quality of our life determined by our life situations themselves or is it defined by our responses to them? I would say the journey to freedom from suffering begins with an honest enquiry in to these questions.

Suffering does not happen by chance nor is it the work of fate, it a result of our own thinking processes. By bringing total attention to our every reaction in thought, it is indeed possible to free ourselves from this suffering. We live in a free universe and no one or nothing dictates the fate of our inner state of being.

I am certainly not the kind that believes in an omnipotent God but if God were to be perceived as an act of help, then I must say that the conscious children of this generation are the gods of our new era.
Some of us refer to these gifted kids as ‘indigo children’, while others believe them to be ‘sparks of God’ or ‘reincarnated masters’. I see them as conscious individuals with a new way of thinking and a whole new way of being. They seem to live in awareness of the world of which they are a part, while at the same time experiencing a deep connection with it. The relationship they share with themselves, with the other and with the world around, permits them to feel very little sadness or loneliness.

COULD THIS NEW WAY OF BEING BE A RESULT OF THEIR INCLUSIVE THINKING?

I do agree that our rapidly changing times, with its exponentially growing technologies have certainly influenced our way of thinking. Most children of today are more world centric in their thinking compared to our yesteryear generations. The information driven world that we live in today has given birth to new friendships: inter-religious friendships, inter-racial friendships, inter-cultural friendships and international friendships.

While this is all true, I am still of the opinion that the biggest influence on the child is its immediate environment and particularly the parents. The child not only observes and learns from its parent’s actions but is equally perceptive to its parents thinking as well.

The conviction I experience in regards to the views I share is the result of my interactions with a gifted child. Although I am a monk myself living with a community of dedicated teachers, I have had the fortune of being friends with a little one. My interactions with her over the last several years have influenced my own views of the world. I feel compelled to share with you what I see in this child and may be in children like her that live amongst us.

The name of this little girl is Lokaa, a Sanskrit name meaning ‘one who inspires wisdom’. She lives with her parents in Chennai, a large metropolis in southern India with a population of well over ten million. Her parents home school her, which was a choice they had made while she was still a toddler. Occasionally she would join educational camps to improvise on her social skills. Where specialized education needs to be imparted to the child, the respective teachers would visit her at her home and the parents would be personally involved in choosing the right teacher. Her parents looked for a teacher who is more than just a knowledge bank, some one that can connect with the child, and some one that taught from a place of friendship instead of coming from a place of authority. From what little I have seen, it is evident to me that the parents are more than dedicated to contributing a beautiful citizen to this world.

During one of those homeschooling classes, Lokaa’s poetry teacher recited a poem titled ‘Inside outside’ and asked her to rewrite the poem. She had to replace the main character in the poem with herself. Lokaa, following the teacher’s instruction, wrote the poem but the teacher looked quite confused with what Lokaa had written. The teacher tried explaining to the child once again what the poem actually meant but without much success. The teacher then tried reasoning with the child persuading her to change her point of view. Their worlds would never meet. The teacher had no clue as to what Lokaa was attempting to communicate and Lokaa had no hint regarding the world that belonged to the conformist. The teacher quite unsure if it was Lokaa’s stubbornness or her lack of understanding walked up to Lokaa’s mother suggesting to her that there could be something wrong with Lokaa’s understanding. The teacher showed to Lokaa’s mother the poem she had written and at the same time also explaining to the mother what the poem should have been like. Of course the mother understood what Lokaa had written.

 Inside outside poetry (original version)

 My inside self and my outside self

Are different as can be

My outside self wears dumb clothes

and very short is she.

Dumb freckles sprinkled on her nose

With dumb, short, curly hair,

And not pretty at all,

with no one to care.

My inside self is different

 You can see

A lovely Ballerina

Dancing inside of me.

Lovely blond hair

Swishing everywhere.

As tall as can be,

Her face is soft,

Her hair so light,

Her feet twinkling

as she dances

Out of sight!

Lokaa had to portray her ugly outer self and an imagined beautiful inner self and take comfort in an imagined beautiful inner self although ugly on the outside. And this was Lokaa’s version of it.

I am pretty

as a buzzing bee

I don’t want to be anyone

Different than me

I’m smart and intelligent,

Sweet and kind,

How should I change

what is already fine?

I want to be a friend

to all who are good

I am me

and you are you!

Obviously as one can see from Lokaa’s version of the poem, there seems to be no element of comparison of her outer self with her inner self or for that matter any form of comparison of herself with another. Her poem appears to be an actual portrayal of what she sees herself to be.

While so many of us spend a whole life time trying to become something that we are not, it was a pleasant surprise to see someone who was so absolutely comfortable with the truth of what she is. Could it be possible that someone who is so much at ease with oneself is naturally kind to the world around?

COULD THIS WAY OF BEING BE THE KEY TO A COMPASSIONATE LIFE?

What makes life so much more challenging for the human species, is that you cannot just live for your self. You have to concern yourself with the well being of your surroundings. It appears that we will not be able to feel at ease with ourselves until we have found that little compassion in our hearts. May be our brains are wired to live supporting each other.

What must one do in order to push oneself to that place of little compassion or is it possible that one flowers into that compassion without having to forcibly cultivate it?

I do believe that a mind which is not at war with itself will move in to a place of compassion easily and will need no pushing from any of our religious/spiritual institutions. On the contrary no person or institution could possibly force one in to a state of compassion. A child, when not engaged in a war with itself is happy at heart and a happy child needs very little education on loving another.

Are not all children born happy and loving? Probably yes. But why do they not continue to grow in this innocence, love and inclusive thinking. What are some of the major influences that shape a child’s thinking process?

 Living in a society that is continuously comparing oneself with another and oneself with one’s ideal self, is it even possible that one is not constantly measuring oneself or not be conflicted with in?

 No child can be totally isolated from society’s influences and there is no need to do so either. Despite all it’s influences, a right parent can make all the difference. It is my belief that no institution can impact a child’s way of thinking like a conscious parent does.

Lokaa believes that a happy heart is the way to a happy world and to manifest her vision for a happy world, she founded ‘HAPPY HEARTS HAPPY WORLD’, an organization to inspire a new way of thinking in the children of our world. She created this organization when she was seven years of age. ‘Happy Hearts Happy World’ is currently involved in supporting a local orphanage in Chennai with more than a thousand orphaned children in it.

I was always inspired by her way of thinking and now deeply moved by her new act ‘Happy Hearts Happy World’, I wanted to be a part of it myself. I approached her asking if I could be a part of her new organization for which she responded saying, “No you cannot be a member of this foundation. This is by the children and for the children. Only children can be a part of this and not grown up’s like yourself. You could however support us by introducing us to new children around the world and may be identify more opportunities for us to serve”.

May be she was right in saying so. Could I ever understand her way of thinking? It would be unfair for anyone to interfere with her perceptions or influence her way of thinking, certainly not if her thinking is already so inclusive in nature.

 Curious to get a glimpse in to her world I asked her “Lokaa, what inspired you to create Happy Hearts Happy World? Do you believe that you will be rewarded for your kind actions?”

I saw a problem with my own way of thinking even as I asked this question to Lokaa. I was approaching the question with a presupposed answer in my mind. May be this is one of the many inadequacies in our current way of thinking: to approach a question with an answer in mind already. How is learning ever going to be possible with this kind of thinking.

Having become conscious of my own defective way of thinking, I rephrased my questions and tried being a little vulnerable in my approach. I asked her ‘do you believe in God? Do you believe in karma?’ for which she responded saying ‘I don’t understand what you are talking about’. I continued with my next question ‘do you believe in being rewarded for your compassionate acts?’ and her response to it was  ‘rewarded by whom’. Quite frustrated with my meaningless questions, she said ‘can we speak of something else instead, these questions don’t make any sense to me’. I asked her a more meaningful one this time ‘could you share with us what inspires you to do what you are doing?’ And her answer was simple, ‘I am happy doing it, I enjoy doing it’. I had to follow it up with another question, ‘what if you stopped enjoying it’ and her response was, ‘if I didn’t enjoy it, I would stop doing it. But I really enjoy helping others. I don’t understand why you even ask questions like what if, while I am still enjoying what I do’.

I had a small peek in to her world for which I was grateful. I was now happy to let her go and play with her friends. I know I was being selfish in troubling her with all these questions, but it helps me reflect on my own ways of thinking.

When you come across kids like these whose acts of compassion are not based on any belief in some sort of super natural force, whose deeds of kindness are not motivated by a possible reward they may find in the immediate future, distant future or the life after, one feels compelled to ask questions like;

Do we need God-fearing children to make this world a better place?

Do we need karma believing generations to act compassionately?

How relevant is God (idea of God) in living a life of compassion?

Earlier this year, one of Lokaa’s tennis teachers in an effort to motivate her asked her if she doesn’t feel sad or worried if she lost a game to her friend. Later that evening after finishing her tennis lessons for the day, she was sharing with us the conversation she had with her coach and remarked, ‘I have a desire to win but do I have to worry if I didn’t. I can’t feel sad just because the other person played better. Should I mama!’

Every time Lokaa makes such remarks, we have a glimpse in to her beautiful world, a world where there is no discrimination.

One might ask what makes me so certain about my views. I trust what I see, other than that I have no definite answers to rationalize my certainty. All I know is, I have interacted with a gifted child and I believe there are many children like her in this world. May be these gifted kids are in our own home or in our neighborhood. May be we have to step out of our own conformities to be able to discover them or appreciate their world. If love is to be interpreted as sensitivity to the life around us, then yes these kids are the most loving creatures one could imagine.

It is my dream that Lokaa can connect with all these gifted children living amongst us and inspire a brand new world with a whole new way of thinking. Children are not to be perceived as future leaders but as the leaders of today.

I am convinced that these children are the gods of the new world!

Thank you.

To learn more about Lokaa, her friends and their work, please visit:

http://happyheartshappyworld.com

In the summer of 2009, I was visiting the city of Los Angeles to speak at a conference. A week prior to the event myself, along with Krishna (founder of One World Academy), his wife Preetha and their 6 year old daughter Lokaa, were visiting a store for some grocery shopping. The name of the store was Bristol farms and they sold mostly organic foods.

We had finished our shopping and were gently pushing our nearly full cart to the parking lot with Lokaa sitting on top. As we walked we saw three young children, two girls and a boy, running towards us.

They looked between 9 and 11 years old. The children ran up to us and volunteered to push our cart for us in exchange for a small donation. We were surprised at their boldness and also curious to find out why they needed this money so desperately that they were willing to chase people in the parking lots to get it. We were deeply moved with their courage and innocence.

Six year old Lokaa kept shouting “Mama, Mama, please help them”, and we certainly wanted to support them, but before we did that we wanted to know why they needed the money. We were thinking that maybe it was for a school project or else they were trying to raise funds for their Halloween costumes, however we were totally wrong!

When Krishna enquired with them about the reason for this “parking lot fund raiser”, almost in one voice they replied saying, “we are on a mission!”

What could the mission of nine year olds be we asked ourselves, and so we asked them again, in a more humorous tone, “what is your mission?”

One of the girls took charge and very briskly responded by saying, “we want to end poverty in East Africa.”
At this point we could no more be distracted by the activity in the parking lot nor could we afford to be half attentive. What these children began sharing with us was too noble for us not to take it seriously. We were totally present with them as the little girl in charge shared with us the following touching story.

“A few weeks ago myself, along with my friends, were browsing the Internet and we saw some images that disturbed us very deeply. We came across pictures of young children who looked very sick and malnourished. They looked so skinny, like they were almost dead. We looked at ourselves and wondered, how come we are so healthy and fine looking while these children elsewhere appear so sick and weak. We had to find out who these children were, as we felt compelled to do something to help them, so we started to browse more to learn about their situation.

What we discovered was that these images were of children in East Africa. Now that we knew where the children were we wanted to find a way to reach and support them so as to help improve their conditions. We searched further to find out if there were any organizations in our neighborhood that supported causes like hunger and poverty. Thank God we have the Internet because it allowed us to research for everything that we needed, all whilst sitting in our playroom and with just some clicking of keys on our MacBook.

We identified several organizations in our area and approached one of them to offer our services in support of their mission. They told us that any kind of help or support would be much appreciated and that we could donate clothes, donate food or raise money. We decided to raise some funds and in the process of doing so also bring greater awareness to people about the poor living conditions of so many throughout the world.

Now the challenge was how to go about raising this money. We had the passion to do it and we were very driven too but we still needed a good idea to help us achieve our mission. So we called for a meeting with our friends and started to brainstorm ideas until we arrived at a magical solution.

We had the brilliant idea to go to the grocery store at weekends, as this would surely be a good place to raise funds. Because no one is in a rush to leave they would have time to listen to our story and maybe even spare some change. And here we are today telling you our story and hoping that you will support our cause”.

The little girl continued; “Do not think that we are the only ones doing this. You will most likely find our friends in every grocery store in town, because today the town is ours, there is no escape for anyone and we will continue to trouble people every week until there is no more poverty in the world” she said, with a mischievous smile on her face.

Oh my goodness! Who are these children! Have we already entered the golden era! How could anyone not support them? We made our little contribution and also made a promise to tell their beautiful story to all our friends.
So here I am telling you this story and keeping the promise that we made to those three little angels.

It was very hard for us to leave them, but they would no longer waste their precious time by simply hanging around us. They had a mission to accomplish. They thanked us and ran away chasing another group of people in the parking lot, as they had to get to them before the groceries were loaded into the car. We wished them good luck as they disappeared and got into our car to drive home.

As we drove away we all carried within us such an incredible feeling in our hearts, as we were so touched. We felt very thankful and happy. It reaffirmed our belief that the world is moving in a great direction, that it is rapidly changing and changing for the better and that on this day we had witnessed “The New Global Citizen” in action!

If we were to look back at our world three decades ago, we may be quite surprised to find that there were very few people who thought and acted globally. There were many very good leaders, leaders who felt responsible for their people, their religion, their country or their nation, but very few leaders who felt responsible for the world at large; leaders who would consider and include the well being of the people of the world in their thoughts and actions.

Three decades later, we have even nine year olds and eleven year olds thinking and acting like true world leaders. And if you thought these kids were exceptions, you are mistaken. You will find them everywhere, in all cultures and in every continent of the world, for it is a fact that we have more world citizens today on our planet than in any other period of human history. There are millions of them and it is not just the children and youth that we are talking about, there are women and men from all age groups who think and act like global citizens.

How did this transformation happen in such a short period of time?

We are beginning to see glimpses of what we have been aspiring to achieve for so many centuries, that some may call universal brotherhood.

Who could have caused this transformation?

Could it be possible that today’s technology has influenced this shift in our perception?

The birth of the Internet has opened the doors to a world of possibilities. We have access to almost every idea that has ever existed. We have access to almost all forms of knowledge. We have access to the memories and feelings of people living across continents around the globe. In other words we now have access to the human mind.

We can connect to all of humanity without even having to leave our home. We can feel the pain of someone suffering from want of food and we can also feel the thrill of a whole nation having just won their first soccer world cup. We can feel what our humankind is feeling and all with one click on our computer.

This new technology has given birth to new friendships; inter-religious friendships, inter-racial friendships, inter-cultural friendships and international friendships. The Internet is slowly but surely erasing all boundaries that cause division and conflict. It has inspired a new sense of togetherness and a desire to serve and support our fellow beings who share this planet with us.

This new technology has resulted in a “NEW EXPANDED SELF” giving birth to the “NEW GLOBAL CITIZEN”.

Just as every form of the Arts and Sciences can have their negatives, so too does this technology have it’s negatives, but the profound impact of the Internet on human consciousness cannot be ignored. For those of us who believe that technology is not the right path, maybe it is time for a change in perspective. Maybe technology is God’s plan for a better, more beautiful world.

A simple question at dinner

After another fun day at the school, we gathered at the dining place for our evening meal. There were students from third grade all the way up to tenth grade waiting in the room; I myself was in my seventh grade then. Our principal too joined us for dinner like he did on most days; this was a special evening though. He had something interesting to tell us or may be I should say that he had a very special question to ask us. The question appeared a simple one, a very harmless question in fact. He pointed to the nice shirts we wore and asked; “Children, is this shirt your shirt?”

Initially we got a little scared and confused listening to the question. We wondered; ‘Why such a strange question all so sudden?’

We thought that may be we were all wearing the wrong shirts by mistake or were wearing shirts that did not belong to us. We looked at each other’s shirts to make sure that there was nothing wrong with the shirts. After a few confused moments we relaxed and thought to ourselves; ‘What could be so difficult about this question’.

There was a brief pause before we finally responded to our principal’s question and in one loud voice we answered; “Of course Sir, it is my shirt”, thinking that the subject of our shirts was now done with. Very little did we know that this was only the first of many questions to come.

His immediate next question after we answered the first one was; “What makes you say, it is your shirt”, to which we replied; “our parents with their hard earned money purchased these shirts for us and so therefore they are ours”. Listening to our response, he said; “What you say is true but is only a partial truth, what then is the complete truth?”
Who owns your shirt?

The dialogue between us continued with back and forth questions and answers. We were now bombarded with a series of questions; “did you…? did you…? did you…?”

“Do you mean to say that you are the complete owner of your shirt?”

“Did you earn the money required to purchase this shirt yourself?”

“Did you manufacture the fabric yourself?”

“Did you design the shirt yourself?”

“Did you tailor the shirt yourself?”

“Did you grow the cotton yourself?”

“Did you transport the cotton from the field to the factory yourself?”

“And what about all those factors that supported the healthy growth of that cotton tree, were you responsible for all those supporting factors as well?”

“Did you manufacture the water, the soil, the wind, and the microbes in the soil?”

“For you to claim total ownership to the shirt you wear, you should be involved in the entire process of the shirt from its inception to its very end, which obviously you are not. How then do you say this shirt is yours? Children let us all think here for a moment. Is there anything that you know that you can claim as completely yours?”

“Now take a deep look into your shirt and tell me what you see in it.”
Learning to inquire

We nearly went blank after being bombarded with of so many questions.

Although I must mention that every single question that was asked was not only logical but provoked an honest inquiry in us. So following the directives of our much loved principal, we sincerely looked at our shirts hoping to find something there.

After nearly ten minutes of intense observation, one boy started to speak; “Sir I see the farmer in my shirt, I see the truck driver, I see the farmer’s family that took such good care of the farmer, cooking for him, massaging his aching feet and shoulders. I see a physician in my shirt. Whenever the farmer got sick, he needed someone to treat him and without that doctor I wouldn’t have this shirt that I now wear.”

He didn’t stop there either; he added “I even see a movie theater in my shirt Sir.” Even before anyone could interrupt him or ask him why a movie theater, he said; “It is true Sir. How would the farmer entertain himself when he is bored and proper entertainment is a part of his wellbeing? Therefore I cannot separate his wellbeing from the shirt that I wear”. The boy was serious when he spoke all this and was not just trying to be funny nor did he do it just to get some attention.

Most of us now saw in our shirts what the young boy was seeing and so one after another we started to speak out as well. We saw the farmer, the cotton tree, the soil and water that caused the tree to grow, the truck driver, the factory, the fabric, the designer, the tailor, our parents and so many people, so many inventions, so many technologies, so many events and all the innumerable factors that were involved in the creation of the fabulous shirts that we all now wore. We saw ourselves too in that shirt for we made the choice to buy and wear them.
The entire universe in a shirt

Literally our entire civilization is involved in the manufacturing of a simple shirt. Not just human civilization, but the whole planet and in fact the entire universe is involved in the creation of this shirt. It was a very magical evening for all of us. We never really expected to see what we saw, not that we had visions of all these people and events in our shirt but we could distinctly feel the presence of each one of them in the shirts we wore.

It felt to me as though they were living in my shirt. Oh my goodness! Do all these people actually live in my shirt? Yes it is true; they are now a part of my shirt and a part of the pleasure and happiness, I experience wearing this shirt.

All these years you would look at your shirt and all you saw there was a piece of cloth and now all of a sudden you were seeing the whole universe living in your shirt. What we experienced in our shirts that evening beat all our imagination. It was magic, absolute magic!

All of a sudden we were thinking and feeling differently. We felt overwhelmed with a deep sense of gratitude.

We looked at our shirts and profusely thanked all those people, things and events responsible for our shirts. Our gratitude was not restricted just to feeling, we started thanking aloud; “Thank you farmer, thank you truck driver, thank you tailor, thank you parents, thank you earth, thank you solar system, thank you god, thank you universe”. It was a list of endless thank yous. I cannot even describe the fulfillment we experienced thanking everyone.

It felt so good going through those motions of thanks giving that we wanted to do it again and again and so kept doing it until we got physically exhausted.

The feeling of thanks giving was in fact very addictive, a harmless addiction of course.
A whole new perspective

It was still hard for us to believe that we were actually seeing all this in a piece of cloth. I suppose it is not that hard for children to let go of old views and open themselves to seeing things from a whole new perspective, one that is inclusive and not divisive in nature.

After the completion of our “shirt meditation”, our principal now asked us the same question again; “So children, what do you think of your shirt now? Do you still think that the shirt is yours”?

In one loud voice we responded saying; “No Sir, my shirt is not my shirt!” We felt so much pride in saying so.

For the next few weeks this was the predominant topic of discussion in the school. Whenever you found two or more kids come together, you could be pretty sure that the subject of discussion had to do with the shirt. One student would ask the other; “So what do you see in your shirt now?” and you had to say something new.

We had to list more factors that are responsible for our shirt and each time we discovered a new factor, we immediately offered our thanks. The list was endless as the whole universe is involved in the making of your shirt. The factors that are visible are only a few and the invisible reasons are infinite and so there was an opportunity for infinite thank yous. We were most thoroughly enjoying our new discoveries. We kept looking for reasons to give thanks and if we didn’t find a new reason to thank, we invented one. Of course there can be no invented reason that is not true, for every reason that you conceive, even the so-called imaginary ones are in someway responsible for your existence.

Every once in a while our principal would return to us with a similar question, until we were firmly established in the truth of the interconnectedness of all existence.

This new understanding transformed the way we related to our family, friends, and teachers. The way we related to strangers became different, no one felt like a stranger any more. Friendships acquired a different meaning. When you realize how much others are a part of your life, you experience a new closeness to them. We developed a new love and affinity for this benevolent universe. It was a new state of being we experienced and there was such beauty in this new way of looking at life.
Inquiring further in to this question

The question “Is this shirt your shirt?” was actually a challenge to the idea of a ‘separate individual’.

Is it true that we exist independent of the world and the universe in which we live?

Can we separate ourselves from our parents, siblings, spouses, children, teachers, family, friends, well-wishers and all the others who have had a profound impact on our lives?

Can we separate ourselves from the efforts of the millions of people that cause us to have a comfortable everyday life?

Can we separate ourselves from the trees that give us the much-needed oxygen?

Can we separate ourselves from the plants and animals that provide us with much of the food, clothing and shelter required for the human body?

Can we separate ourselves from our mother earth that most generously hosts us?

Can we separate ourselves from the sun and the stars?

Can we separate ourselves from this universe of which we are part?

Is this sense of separation not the cause of much of human misery?
The root cause of all suffering

If we should reflect on some of the major problems we experience in the world today; problems such as poverty, crime, discrimination, exploitation, war, terrorism, conflicts (conflicts experienced between two individuals, between two families, between two communities, between two nations, religious conflicts, political conflicts) and if we tried to identify the reasons for each of these problems, we will most likely identify a definite set of reasons responsible for poverty, another set of reasons responsible for war and still another set of reasons responsible for discrimination.

While on the surface it might appear to us that the reasons for each of these above mentioned problems are different, in reality are the causes different for each of these issues?

Although the surface reasons may appear to be true, if we were to go all the way to the very root of these issues and asked the same question again; Why war? Why poverty? Why crime? May be we would discover that the causes are not actually different.

It is the same cause everywhere, a sense of separateness, a feeling of “the me” and “the not me”. It is this sense of separateness that is at the root of all war, all poverty, and all crime.

It is this very feeling of me and not me that is at the root of all division and conflict; mine and not mine, my family and not my family, my religion and not my religion, my ideology and not my ideology, my beliefs and not my beliefs, my nation and not my nation.

As long as we believe that we are separate individuals, all that would matter to us is our own survival, survival not just in a physical sense but more so in a psychological sense. All we would care is for our own safety, our own security, our own certainty and our own significance. If at any point of time, our security or significance is threatened, we would not mind hurting another to defend our own significance, we may not hesitate at all to go to war to preserve our own personal identity. Whether it is a conflict between two individuals or a conflict between two nations, the reasons are the same; a desperate effort to preserve one’s own identity.
Thinking and acting from a new awareness

If the foundation of our thinking is based on the idea that we are separate individuals, then there will be conflict both at the individual level and the collective level. If we are aspiring for a conflict free world, then it becomes necessary that the foundation of our thinking change. We need to think and act from a new awareness, that we are one and not separate.

Actions arising from this new state of being will no longer be isolated or limited to oneself but will include the well being of others. When you know that your existence at every level, physically, emotionally and spiritually is dependently arising, you no more feel lonely.

If Interconnectedness is the nature of all life, If Oneness is the essence of our existence, how do we then talk of two separate existents?

Can we think of any one moment in our life that exists totally independent of the rest of the world we live in?

Our every moment of pleasure, pain and thrill is dependent on something and this something is dependent on many other somethings. In other words all our experiences are dependently arising, dependent on innumerable factors. Your own existence is dependent on many factors. You are a resultant experience of many people, events, ideas and experiences. You don’t and cannot exist on your own.

How then do we even talk of two separate individuals or two separate events? Each one of us is connected to the rest of humankind and an inseparable part of this world and so is the case with every single event or experience.
The simple joy of interconnectedness

Even as I write these words sitting across the street from Central Park, there is a sense of thrill and happiness I feel and I ask myself the reasons for this moment of thrill that I experience. It is a sunny afternoon in New York and I am sitting by a fountain next to the Apple store located on 59th and 5th streets. Central Park is just a block away and I see the just blooming trees, as it is spring already.

There are tons of people walking all around me and I notice some of them admiring my Mac book air as I busily type away these words. I look up to see a small scattering of clouds moving across the sky and an American flag fluttering on top of the plaza hotel. With such clear skies and gentle wind, I could not have asked for a better day in New York. It is a perfect afternoon for reflection.

And now, contemplating on the thrill I experience in my heart, I ask myself the following questions; Did I create this moment of thrill all by myself or every single event that surrounds me contributes to this experience of mine?

My moment of joy is definitely a result of all those happenings around me. How then could I separate this pleasant sensation I experience in my consciousness from any of these events that surround me.
The illusion of a separate individual

The idea of a separate individual is an illusion and this illusion has become a habit, which makes it very hard for us to perceive otherwise.

A simple inquiry would reveal to us the obvious: the inseparability of anything from anything.

If we cannot talk of two separate existents, if we cannot talk of two separate events, if we cannot talk of two separate people, if we cannot talk of two separate worlds, how appropriate is it for us to talk about a separate independent God?

In a universe of interdependence and interconnectedness, who and what is God is a question each one of us must ask ourselves. The answer we find will be our discovery of God.

No one can find God for us or define God for us.

It has to be a discovery you make through your observation and inquiry. After all life is one process from which nothing can be included and excluded or added and separated.

If the individual is the world, then individual transformation is world transformation.

There is a reason we call this the “Universe” and not “Twoniverse”.

Ananda Giri, Senior Faculty Teacher at One World Academy

In the summer of 2006, I had visited Stockholm, Sweden for a spiritual
conference. Prior to the event, I was scheduled to meet with a
well-known author from Sweden. The meeting took place at a hotel lobby
by the beautiful Stockholm harbor. I was already in the lobby waiting
for the gentleman to arrive. As soon as he stepped into the lobby, he
walked right up to me and greeted me with a handshake. It was not
difficult for him to identify me, as I was the only Indian in the
room. The writer was a middle-aged gentleman full of enthusiasm and
his works were mostly contemporary in nature. We were keen to learn
from each other and our learning took place, primarily in the form of
exchanging views.

The most significant moment of the meeting to me however, was when he
asked me, “Ananda Giri, would you be interested in sharing with us
about love. What according to you is love?”

What is Love?

I had previously never been faced with such a question nor had I asked
this question to myself before and so had no immediate answer to that
question. I had to first ask myself this question, “What is love to
me” before I could respond to him. Of course the experience of love
cannot be summed up into one single definition, it obviously meant
different things to different people. Therefore I would never be able
to ask the question, “What is love?” and find an answer to that
question, I could only ask, “What is love to me?” and that is what I
did.

I followed my thoughts and memories in search of a moment that I could
boldly say was “love”. My thoughts eventually led me to my school
days and there I was, reliving all those moments. As I browsed through
my experiences of my school days, I found an answer to the writer’s
question or may be I should say that I found the answer to my
question. I was now ready to respond to him.

Conflict in Student Heaven

The school I studied in was the best any child could hope for; some
even called it “student heaven”. We had absolutely nothing to complain
about, but what I had failed to observe then was whether heaven or
hell was dependent on your internal state and not dependent on your
external circumstances.

If you are not in a good state you find yourself complaining a lot and
that is what I did; I found myself blaming everyone around me for no
apparent reason. I was fourteen, only a year since transiting into my
teen hood and had no idea what it felt like to be a teen. The early
part of my teen life did not have as many high’s as I would have
expected but nevertheless guided me to some valuable realizations that
laid foundations for a great life ahead. In the end I can only be
grateful to all that happened irrespective of the unpleasant emotions
attached to those experiences.

The first big disappointment in my teen life was when I was faced with
my first serious inner conflict. It was the first time I experienced a
conflict of this nature and I clearly did not know how to deal with
it; should I suppress it or live with it or resolve it. I was not sure
if my friends too were experiencing what I experienced or if it was
just I. The thought that it could be just me bothered me even more.
Although the reasons for my conflict didn’t seem very substantial,
still I could not find my way out of it.

This was my conflict; I was considered to be one of the very good
students of the school, not for academic reasons alone but because my
teachers believed I was also a humble and generous kid. The teachers
and the principal of our school thought highly of me and on several
occasions even projected me as model student. It felt good to be
praised and appreciated. I totally enjoyed the status of a model
student. As an eleven-year-old boy when I first joined this school,
kindness and humility were natural to me. Moving into my teens, I
suppose I was not that innocent any longer. I was becoming
increasingly self-obsessed and this was not a good feeling at all. I
still clearly remember the very first time I was tormented by this
self-obsessive thinking, to be thinking and worrying about yourself.
You were worried about what your friends thought of you, what your
teachers thought of you. You would look into the mirror and be worried
about your appearance and you even tried convincing yourself that you
were a stunner. It was not just a passing thought, it had become a
preoccupation and that didn’t feel good. It was a lot of strain on the
mind and you were a much-distracted person. It felt strange and
awkward. I knew that something had shifted in me and that I was no
longer that free spirited child living in total oblivion.

From the Frying Pan into the Fire

At this point it would have been easier for me to answer the question
“What is not love?” but as to “What is love?” I had to keep searching
further before I could respond to the Swedish gentleman’s question
with some conviction. Very clearly self-obsession cannot be love for
in that state, you alone existed and all that mattered to you is your
own pleasures, achievements and significance. This obviously could not
be love.

It took a while for me to accept my new mental state, one that
involved self-obsessive thinking and cunning. Even before I could
familiarize myself with this new development in my personality, the
conflict had matured and was demanding for an answer. My condition now
was like moving from the frying pan into fire itself. This is when you
begin to believe that there is a conspiracy going on and you
desperately begin to crave for the peace and happiness that you had
once experienced.

The truth that I was self-obsessed bothered me. The fact that I was no
longer kind or humble caused me to desperately hold on to the previous
good-boy image and I was therefore left with no other choice but to
pretend. Not that it was hard for me to pretend but trying to be
something that I was not, consumed much of my energy. The experience
of pretending was becoming less and less enjoyable and I soon found
myself in a state of mental bargaining. I guess I was trying to figure
out which of the two is more pleasurable; holding on to the good-boy
image or letting go of the good-boy image and to stop pretending. This
was my conflict. Both the thoughts were equally tempting, holding on
and letting go.

How did I even know that I was pretending? That is another story. In
one of the classes, a fellow student received some praise from a
teacher for his act of humility. I told myself that this kid was just
pretending to get some attention. The kid continued to demonstrate
such acts of humility and was found winning frequent praises from more
and more teachers. I felt disturbed. I of course knew the reason for
my disturbance, but I did not want to believe that this kid was the
reason for my bother and tried looking for other reasons. When I was
forced to consider the possibility that the new humble kid could be
the cause of my disturbance, I would immediately resist that thought
and tell myself that I was bothered because he was not being genuine.
How could you hide the truth from yourself and even if you managed to
keep it hidden, for how long can you do it. And so I had no choice but
to confront the truth of the matter. If I was truly the good boy that
the school believed, why do I feel threatened by an act of humility
instead of feeling proud and accomplished?

I felt threatened because I saw a competitor. I was afraid of being
displaced from my long held position of the model student. It was not
about humility any longer but a race to win the humility award. It was
a struggle to retain my significance and a fear of not being
significant any more. After learning this truth about myself, how
could I still believe that I was this humble kid? What do I do with
this truth? Should I speak about it? Should I reveal my true character
to the school or should I hold on to that good-boy image?

I was not sure what to do and so was lost in bargaining. I finally
made a resolve to put an end to this conflict. In order to put an end
to this conflict, I believed that I had to pick a side. I picked a
side and it was to let go of the good-boy image.

Letting go of the good-boy image

I decided to approach my school principal and reveal to him my true
thoughts and feelings. I picked my school principal to do this for two
reasons, firstly because I thought he was the most understanding of
all the people I knew at the school and secondly because he was the
one to portray me as a model student to the school. I decided that if
I must break my image, it has to be with the person who believed in me
the most. It was with him that I felt most vulnerable and so I thought
it would be most appropriate to shed my image there.

It was not difficult to make an appointment with the principal, as he
was quite approachable to all students. Approachability was not an
issue and therefore could not be offered as an excuse not to meet him.
I was now compelled to act on the decision I had made. His office was
not far from the dormitory where I lived and everyday I would tell
myself that I would meet him the next morning. This went on for a
couple of weeks as I procrastinated out of fear. The next decision I
had to make was to stop procrastinating. To let go my images was my
voluntary choice and there was no need for me to procrastinate. It was
about time for me to make the bold move and so I did.

The next morning I walked up to his room and raised my hand to knock
on the door. No matter how strongly I willed I still could not land my
hand on the door and it remained a few inches away from the door. It
was as if some one was forcibly holding my hand back. Of course that
someone holding my hand back had to be my own fear. I felt sad and
embarrassed that I did not even possess the courage to knock on a
door. I felt terrified. I had never imagined I could be this afraid.

What was I afraid of?

What could a boy of my age be so scared about? Well, there is no
rationale to fear. All kinds of scary images are projected and your
reasoning eludes you in that moment. As I raised my hand to knock on
the door, I felt terribly scared, scared like I was going to loose
everything. I wasn’t raising my hand to kill someone, just to knock on
a door, but the mind in that moment had lost its power of discretion.
Of course I knew my fear was irrational but I was totally helpless and
could do nothing to stop that fear. All I could do was retreat from
the door and my fear would stop. Although my first attempt was
unsuccessful, I was not disheartened and I refused to give up. I tried
a second time and everything appeared to be fine until I raised my
hand again. It felt like an exact replay of the previous morning. I
could not believe this was happening to me all over again.

I had failed in my second attempt also, however I decided to try again
a few days later. This time the ‘gods’ were with me; even before I
could raise my hand to knock on the door, the principal opened the
door and was surprised to see me outside. What prompted him to open
the door, I do not know. May be it was pure coincidence but I would
like to believe that there was a higher intelligence in action. I had
no escape this time. He welcomed me in with a smile and I walked
inside the room and sat on the carpet that lay on the floor.

Facing the Principal and My Self

I was feeling nervous and at the same time ready to tear open my mask.
I did not want to miss this opportunity. I told myself it is now or
never. Postponing again meant I would never do it and so I seized the
opportunity that presented itself before me. The principal briefly
left to an adjacent room and returned back with a newspaper in his
hand. He sat down on the cane chair that lay in front of me. He began
in his usual style, “So what is it? Is there something that you wish
to speak?” I responded by saying, “Nothing Sir” but then immediately
corrected myself and said, “Yes Sir, there is something that bothers
me and I need your help”.

He grabbed his newspaper and said to me “Go on”. I was certain that
he would be very disappointed with me if he heard my story. That
however did not stop me from speaking, although that thought made me a
little nervous. I started to speak and spoke so fast and almost
without any pause. I was afraid if I paused, I would change my mind
and walk away from the room pretending that everything was ok. I did
not want to trust myself on this occasion and so went on without a
break. I unmasked myself before him, revealing to him my every
thought. I told him how much I had changed in the last few years, how
angry, greedy, selfish and lustful I had become. I shared my thoughts
in all their ugly detail. I was not embarrassed speaking them but felt
scared thinking as to how he might respond listening to my ugly truth.
I expected to be judged and mentally prepared myself for such a
response.

To my utter shock, he listened to my story with the same calm and
eagerness he would have shown if I had mentioned to him that I ate
pancakes for breakfast this morning. I could not believe that there
was not even the slightest sense of disappointment, let alone
judgment. It wasn’t like he was being inattentive or indifferent to my
talk; there was total acknowledgment of every word and emotion of
mine. At the end of my story he smiled to me. There was so much
kindness in the way he looked at me. He then spoke to me saying,
“Well, now that you know who you really are, why don’t you go sing a
song about your ugliness”. He was really meaning it. He even pointed
to a specific rock at a distance and told me that rock would be a good
place for me to sing my beautiful song.

Our school campus was a beautiful one with lots of trees and rocks.
All I had to do now was to go, pick my rock and sing my first original
song. I left the room feeling relieved and grateful. I climbed the
rock and started to sing at the top of my voice. Every line of my song
was authentic, describing the ugliness of my thoughts and feelings. I
called this song, my beautiful song of ugliness.

Although I called it “my song of ugliness”, I felt very auspicious
singing it. Even as I sang these words, I experienced an inexpressible
sense of joy and freedom.

How could there be so much Freedom in being Ugly?

Is freedom in the transformation of ugly to beautiful? Is freedom the
experience of moving from ‘bad’ to ‘good’? Is freedom a resultant
experience of a mind that is free of all so called negative thought?

Is freedom not possible for a vulnerable mind that permits all
thought, both ‘good’ and ‘bad’? Is freedom not possible for you and me
then? If we are obsessed about a mind that is totally devoid of any
form of jealousy, comparison or judgment and believed that only such a
mind can result in freedom, then we must question the possibility of
both, such a mind and such a freedom.

If freedom is only for those who have attained such a ‘pure’ mind,
then certainly such a freedom is not for you and me and I don’t know
if there is anyone eligible for such a freedom.

Is the experience of joy and freedom sourced in the thought itself or
is it in our ability to observe the thought?

Meditation is not about the ending of thought

Meditation is not about replacing one thought with another thought. To
meditate is to observe thought in action. To be aware is to be Free.
As the well-known philosopher-teacher J. Krishnamurti often said, “If
only one can live in total observation of one’s actions and reactions,
it is possible to live a conflict free life”. In total attention to
the “what is”, there is freedom.

This was the freedom I experienced that morning as I sang standing on
top of that boulder. It was not a freedom arising from the absence of
my so called negative thoughts but a freedom arising from being
totally alive to my thoughts and emotions. I didn’t even know if this
freedom would be there the next moment but I didn’t care to know it
either. The question if this freedom would last forever was immaterial
in that moment. I was happy, I was free now and that alone mattered. I
could trust this freedom because it didn’t demand anything from me. It
was not a ‘freedom’ born in cultivated virtue but a freedom
experienced in total awareness of “the what is”. I could trust this
freedom because it gives me a choice to be free; I could choose
whether to live a life of awareness or live a life of un-awareness.
All I needed to do in order to be free is to be aware.

“TRUTH COULDN’T BE ANY SIMPLER AND FREEDOM ANY EASIER”

In that total attention to the activity of mind, there was no more
that conflict. There was a sense of deep peace with myself. There was
an acknowledgment and acceptance of myself. I was for the first time
being attentive to the truth of what I am, without indulging in any
justifications. I felt a new found compassion for myself. It was a
sweet feeling. It was a big day for me. I realized that no thought in
itself carries any pain. It is when you resist that thought or when
you make a desperate effort to move away from that thought, you
experience an uneasiness and discomfort that you call pain. A movement
away from the “what is”, is conflict and therefore paying attention to
the “what is”, is the end of conflict. Much of our struggle is in
trying to be something that we are not.

I would not say that I was forever free of all conflict but I was not
afraid of conflict any more. I had seen and understood the nature of
my conflict, which in fact is the nature of all conflicts, a conflict
between “what you are” and the idea of “what you are supposed to be”.

I guess it was the way my principal responded to my ugly truth that
pushed me to a place of observation. I learnt to observe myself
instead of denying or fighting the truth of what I am. I was no longer
afraid of my thoughts. I discovered that I had stopped complaining
about myself. It is around this time that I started to experience
something new and different.

It was A NEW BEGINNING FOR ME.

One afternoon after completing our meal, I was hanging out with my
friends who were engaged in an animated conversation. I was watching
them as they argued and debated over who could possibly be the best
Indian movie actor. My participation in this chatter was different
from usual. I was listening to every word they spoke, observing their
emotions and enjoying the expressions on their faces. It felt as if I
was seeing their faces for the first time. There was nothing for me to
complain about, either with myself or with my friends. As I remained
there enjoying the company of my friends, a thought passed through my
head, “ may be this is what people speak of as love”; A feeling of
total freedom to be yourself and freedom to allow the other to be
himself. It was for the first time I truly felt that I had permitted
my friends to be themselves. There was no manipulation of any kind. It
was an incredible moment. It is my belief even now, “ to love is to
allow the other person be himself/herself ”. Love is freedom in
relationship.

Ask yourself the following:

Can I really love another if I am in a conflicted state myself?

Can I really accept another if I have not accepted myself?

Can I really stop complaining about the other when I have not yet
stopped complaining about myself?

Can I be really comfortable with my surroundings unless I have become
comfortable with myself?

Can I allow the other to be himself or herself if I have not yet
allowed me to be myself?

How can I be myself, if I have not yet accepted myself for what I am?

How can I possibly accept myself if I am not even aware of what I
truly am in this moment?

How is awareness of the “what is” possible if I am all the time in the
“what should be”?

WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT FOR US TO OBSERVE OUR MIND WITHOUT FEELING THREATENED BY ITS CONTENTS???